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Nigeria opposition declares victory, says "witnessing history"

The Standard Digital News (satire) (press release) (registration) (blog) - ‎10 hours ago‎
Nigeria: Nigeria's opposition All Progressives Congress (APC) declared victory in the presidential election on Tuesday, saying Africa's most populous nation was "witnessing history".

Result trumps deadline in marathon Iran nuclear talks

Al Jazeera America - ‎49 minutes ago‎
Opponents of a nuclear deal with Iran are already calling the deal over which negotiators continue to bargain in Lausanne the “April Fool's Accord.

Low-cost airlines often high stress for pilots

New Zealand Herald - ‎1 hour ago‎
Andreas Lubitz, the co-pilot who last week steered a Germanwings flight into a mountainside, had a history of depression so debilitating that he left his pilot training program for six months in the late 2000s, according to Germany's Bild newspaper.

Stay away from Integrity Centre until you're invited, EACC tells those in shame list

The Standard Digital News (satire) (press release) (registration) (blog) - ‎3 hours ago‎
NAIROBI: The Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC) has told those mentioned in its list of shame not to present themselves to Integrity Centre until they are summoned.

House probe team wants Ababu Namwamba's PAC dissolved

The Standard Digital News (satire) (press release) (registration) (blog) - ‎3 hours ago‎
NAIROBI: The National Assembly Powers and Privileges Committee has recommended the dissolution of the House Public Accounts Committee (PAC) and barred its chairperson, Ababu Namwamba, and four others from serving on a new committee to be ...
Committee blacklists Ababu, 4 others from PAC

Indonesia slammed in death penalty report

The Australian (blog) - ‎54 minutes ago‎
A GLOBAL report on capital punishment has pointed to widespread reports of corruption in Indonesia's judiciary, while slamming claims in Jakarta that a wave of pending executions of drug traffickers is needed to combat a national emergency.

Mandela convicted of assault

Times LIVE - ‎1 hour ago‎
Mthatha Regional Court magistrate Noluthando Conjwa said Mandela had acted contrary to the upbringing he claimed to have received from his late grandfather Nelson Mandela.

Donors pledge $3.8 billion to tackle Syria's humanitarian crisis: UN

ARA News - ‎43 minutes ago‎
Geneva - In an international summit in the Kuwaiti capital, the United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that international donors have pledged “$3.8 billion to tackle the humanitarian crisis in Syria”.

IS militant group executes 37 civilians in central Syria, says monitor

Times of Oman - ‎5 hours ago‎
Beirut: The IS militant group on Tuesday executed at least 37 civilians, including two children, in a raid on a regime-held village in Hama province of central Syria, a monitor said.

What a tree's name taught me about Lee Kuan Yew

AsiaOne - ‎1 hour ago‎
Ceremonial pallbearers carrying the flag draped casket of Mr Lee Kuan Yew during the state funeral service at the University Cultural Centre on 29 March 2015.

Pair in NSA shooting incident were common criminals in stolen car

Fox News Latino - ‎1 hour ago‎
The two men shot at the gate of the National Security Agency - one of whom died - were common criminals who probably turned onto the access road to the high-security installation by mistake in a stolen car.

UN, Myanmar leader hail 'historic' draft ceasefire pact | Bangkok Post: news

Bangkok Post - ‎12 hours ago‎
President of Myanmar Thein Sein (left) shakes hand with Naing Han Tha (centre), leader of the Nationwide Ceasefire Coordination Team as Padoh Kwe Htoo Win (right), of the Karen National Union, a member of the ethnic armed groups' National Ceasefire ...

About 80 brewing firms have been closed in the last one year, says CS

The Standard Digital News (satire) (press release) (registration) (blog) - ‎3 hours ago‎
NAIVASHA: At least 80 alcohol manufacturing companies have been closed in the last one year after they failed to meet the requisite standards.

March inflation rises to 6.31%

Kenya Broadcasting Corporation - ‎10 hours ago‎
The rate of inflation has for the second month in a row risen and is now at 6.31 percent. Latest data from the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics indicate that the rate accelerated from last month's figure of 5.61 percent to the current 6.31 percent mainly driven ...

New trap for Kenyan drink-drivers over Easter

The Standard Digital News (satire) (press release) (registration) (blog) - ‎2 hours ago‎
NAIROBI: There is every reason for Kenyan motorists who love their tipple to be extra careful this Easter. A new advanced breathalyser is set to be rolled out on all major roads in the country this evening.

Business News Roundup, April 1

San Francisco Chronicle - ‎57 minutes ago‎
IBM is investing $3 billion to build an Internet of Things division aimed at harnessing the data collected by smartphones, tablets, connected vehicles and appliances and using it to help companies better manage their businesses.

Mike Tyson's old Ohio mansion bought by church for $750000

Daily Mail - ‎38 minutes ago‎
An abandoned Ohio mansion that was once the opulent home of heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson is being turned into a house of worship after a church splashed out $750,000 for the property.

99-percent but Jay Z ain't one

New York Post - ‎24 minutes ago‎
That was the unsung message at Monday's press conference with Jay Z and other A-listers like Usher, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Madonna, Beyoncé, Kanye, Chris Martin, etc.

Lustful Granny Boasts About Her Rich Sex Life

NAIJ.COM - ‎6 hours ago‎
It's hard to believe but there are grandmothers whose only passion in life is sex. Well, one of them are ready to open the doors in her rich and active sex life.

40 children by 20 women: Feckless dad says he 'used baby son to pull birds'

mirror.co.uk - ‎2 hours ago‎
A shameless dad today boasted that he has fathered 40 children by 20 women, and insisted: “God says go forth and multiply.” Jobless Mike Holpin, 56, said he had his first sexual experience aged nine and when he eventually became a dad he used one of ...

4-foot bodybuilder finds love with 6-foot transgender woman

The Grio - ‎3 hours ago‎
Proving there is someone for everyone, a London bodybuilder has found love with a woman that is nearly two-feet taller than him. Anton Kraft stands at 4-foot-tall and says he will not date a woman who is not at least a foot taller than him, reports the New York ...

CAF allows Tunisia to enter 2017 Africa Cup

Al-Bawaba - ‎1 hour ago‎
The Confederation of African Football (CAF) will allow Tunisia to enter the 2017 Africa Cup after its football association (FTF) apologized for claiming the CAF had shown bias, the governing body said Tuesday.

Bayern Munich: We could spend €100 million on one player

Goal.com - ‎Mar 30, 2015‎
Bayern Munich executive board member Jan-Christian Dreesen says that the club could spend €100 million on one star player. The Bundesliga champions have so far refused to match teams from La Liga and the Premier League when it comes to spending ...

Cazorla insists he is staying put at Arsenal FC

Winner Sports - ‎5 hours ago‎
Cazorla has proven to be a fantastic acquisition for Arsenal since his arrival to the club from Villarreal back in 2012 and the playmaker has arguably been the Gunners' best player during the current campaign.

Kenya Advocates Changes in Act Against HIV/AIDS Infected

Prensa Latina - ‎4 hours ago‎
31 de marzo de 2015, 15:31Nairobi, Mar 31 (Prensa Latina) Groups defending human rights of Kenya today endorsed their support to the amendment of a law that establishes strong penalties for carriers of HIV and AIDS from spreading it to other people.

Sex And Life: 8 ways many people are killing their sex life unknowingly

Pulse Nigeria - ‎7 hours ago‎
A lot of people approach sex and fail woefully, suffering weak erection, quick ejaculation or just failing to cum. But the truth is that, in many cases, these sexual problems are self-inflicted… Published: 31.03.2015; Sam Wha'anda.

After Reading Her Boyfriend's Text That Called Her "Massive," This Woman Lost ...

Redbookmag.com (blog) - ‎2 hours ago‎
We can think of a lot of things we wouldn't want to see on our boyfriend's phone: Tinder, porn, flirty FB messages from the colleague he swears is just a good pal, and a text to one of his buddies describing us as "massive.

Don't use spoons for your child's medicine

The Journal News | LoHud.com - ‎7 hours ago‎
It sounds like common sense, but it bears repeating: Ordinary household spoons aren't the proper vehicle for your child's medication.
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